Sigh...

Can't believe it...my grandpa's gone...today has been such shit.

I just want to cry...I don't want to be awake. I wish I could sleep for hours on end just so I won't have to eat. I could lose weight (maybe not a lot but at least some) and I won't have to deal with these stupid emotions I have. I'm sick of feeling like this. I fucking hate this. I hate myself. Everything about me is worthless, stupid, disgusting. I want to burn....maybe cut...Idk ://

Annoyed...

Was supposed to do good today and what do I do?! I binge! Ugh this is ridiculous. Why can't I do anything right. I would purge but I already had Cali Girl Dieter's Tea and I wouldn't want to end up purging that as well. Today has just been so shitty. I've been in a depressed mood all day and haven't been wanting to do anything. Honestly, I would probably feel better if my boyfriend, the one person I love talking to, would show some interest or act like he cares about how I'm doing and what's going on in my life like I do for him ALL THE DAMN TIME! I'm sick of feeling like I'm not cared for. I feel so alone and I hate it...

Purged last night and now have a pain in my collar bone and neck when I breathe.What the hell am I doing to myself...